How To Mask Your Entire Body


Picture this: life has hit peak chaos, your to-do list is no longer a list and more of a pile. You are unfamiliar with what it feels like to “relax,” and you can’t seem to find a moment out of your own head. Instinctively, you attempt to use whatever piece of life you have left inside to pretend to check something off the list. I have a better method to the madness.

Everyone reading this is familiar with the concept of self-care to stress relieve. Putting a face mask on is one of those little joys in life (similar to having wet nail polish on) where you’re forced to lay low for a while. However, if you’re a lunatic like me, you’ll find a way to do anything but relax (clean, work, iPhone scroll) during this routine zen-time.

The only way I could foresee myself breaking this unhealthy inability to ~reset~ was to make it virtually impossible to do otherwise. So I willed myself to cover my entire (ENTIRE) body in head-to-toe treatments and force myself into relaxation. Journey with me below so you too can cover your entire physical being with product for the sole purpose of uncovering your personal chill.

Pre-step: Setting the Scene

Cue up your favorite movie on Netflix. You’ll want something enjoyable yet familiar playing in the background to lull you into a tranquil state. And then you have two options: either strip naked and keep a towel nearby to lie on, or, after you’ve applied all of your masks, completely cover yourself in cheap clothing. If you don’t own a $10 athletic grey sweat suit from Walmart, get on the train. It’s great to slip on while you body mask, and you won’t care if it gets coated in product. Hot tip: treat yourself to a pack of cotton white crew socks while you’re at it for enhanced foot masking. :~)

Step 1: The Top

Hair: I always get a head (heh) start by scattering a bunch of dots of Uma Nourishing Hair Oil directly onto my scalp. Massage it in, comb through to your ends, and then twist your hair up in a bun. The greasy feeling is worth the future chinchilla-soft hair you’ll have tomorrow.

Face: Next I slap on a moisturizing sheet mask (Lululun) and say my blessings. We’re still vertical and this is only the beginning, strap in.

Lips: To finalize the face ceremony, duck face it out and pop on what’s that? ANOTHER SHEET! I can use all the help I can get here, and the KNC Beauty ones moisturize AND have a plumping effect. Fun!

Step 2: The Bottom

We’ll get to the middle in a moment. Physics determines that we must address the lower half first.

Feet: In my opinion, feet are a window into how much you give a heck about your self-care. I’ve talked about my tootsie-routine at length, which includes masking, here. The tl;dr version is this: start with a foot soak, and then finish up by pulling on these moisturizing booties.

Step 3: The Middle

Neck + Chest: The most forgotten body area! For years my mother-in-law has been giving me insight into skincare things she wish she started when she was my age. One of her most passionate preaches was to take care of my chest area early. Armed with this important information, I can confidently recommend this mask, which hydrates with glycerin and hyaluronic acid to keep this delicate area looking fresh. After you’ve finished this part, lie flat on your stomach, making sure to position your head so you can still comfortably view your Netflix entertainment. Because up next is...

Step 4: The Back

Butt: There are people who have zits on their booty, and then there are people who lie. As a leo-rising it’s my court-jester duty to say that it’s OK to cop to buttne, and to share my preferred tush treatment with my internet friends. 2019 is fun because we have plenty of butt masks to choose from. I like this one!

Back: Everyone say it with me: BACNE! Don’t buy something new here, look deep into your mask cabinet (I know you have one) and dig out something that is either clay-related, foams up, or exfoliates—be it a mask, a peel, or a cleanser. With my bacne weapon of choice in hand, I plant my feet hip distance apart and begin challenging my joint flexibility to apply said treatment.

And then just lay there. When the movie is over, peel off your masks and take a washcloth to wipe off your back treatment. Sleep in your hair oil (cover your pillowcase with a towel to avoid stains), and rinse it out the next morning. And that strange emotion you’re experiencing right now? Friends, fear not. They call that being relaxed.

—Sam Wilson

Photo via ITG.