Dermatologists will tell you to moisturize your body the moment you step out of the shower, and I will too. Not because it’s the most effective way to hydrate your skin (for the record it is, but that’s not why I’ve gathered you here today). It’s because of all of the hair on the floor! In the corner, on the bath mat...everywhere. It’s a stray hair minefield, and my bare feet are always ready and willing to set things off. Moisturize now, while safely perched on a clean bath mat, or forever hold your peace.
Not that there aren't threats everywhere, every day, and any time. I also regularly find loose hairs hitching a ride on the back of my coat or resting on my couch either (people come over to visit and they see that thing!). So lately, I’ve rogue with some hair-specific cleanup endeavors. It’s very niche and only mildly obsessive. And you should benefit from my weird fixation! So let’s get a move on with it, yes? Let me explain how you too can expel all of the unwanted hair from…
An unconventional broom: You know those funny looking rubber brooms always hanging around the salon? Turns out they weren’t some kind of doorbuster deal at a hairstylist expo—they actually work! Much better so than a traditional (but oh so beautiful and trendy) natural fiber broom. The silicone material attracts dust and hair (which you’d already know if you ever lost your flexy iPhone case in the bottom of your bag…), and the squeegee-like edge on top of the broom is a good tool for corralling spills.
A fancy vacuum: A quick office poll exposed that a bunch of us are hooked on Dyson (was it the Brit from the commercials always going on about suction that did it?). Yes, it is a BIG ADULT PURCHASE, but it’s hard to get mad about overspending on cleaning equipment when vacuuming has become, dare I say, enjoyable? Easier, at the very least. I’m specifically talking about their cordless vacuums (free yourself), and the nimble “Mini Motorhead” attachment that’ll get your bathroom floor corners a respite from split-end tumbleweeds.
A proper detangling session: Not a tool, but still handy. Before washing your hair, try combing your hair first, outside of your shower. This preemptive measure will help you shed less while you shampoo, and you can use your brand spankin' new Dyson to get rid of any strays that fall to the floor. Prefer detangling in the shower anyway? Well, someone who I will not name told me that she likes to throw her hair sheds on the shower wall, before tossing them in the trash when she’s done. That’s one way to handle it!
A hair trap: Picture a rubber spool, but replace the thread with hair. Bam! You’ve got a Tubshroom, the shower drain insert that collects all the hair that made the Great Escape from your scalp. Too many people raved about it for me to not buy it, but in the end it didn’t fit my drain. Luckily, a coworker recommended a bigger alternative that fits. Doesn't look bad, either.
Your furniture and clothes
A lint roller: I once read that lint rollers are bad in the long run because the sticky residue it leaves behind attracts additional hair and lint. Unclear if that’s actually true, but it’s a fast option...you’ve got to give them that. The XXL big bertha one from Muji is good for sofas and carpets, and this small one will pick up any hair that might land on your clothes.
A lint brush: Like a lint roller, but make it chic. This one is made of that tried-and-true hair magnet, silicone. The downside is that you need to clean the brush after every other use or so, so you aren't depositing more lint than you pick up. But the upside is that its shelf-life is way longer than a roller.
A handheld vacuum: Yep, you guessed it. Dyson.
Rubber gloves: Just plain kitchen gloves will do. Surprisingly adept at picking up long strands on the back of your camel coat, fuzzy sweater, etc. And if you happen to be in the market for kitchen gloves, may I suggest these comfortable Korean ones?
Pledge fabric sweeper: Dog internet swears by this one. Apparently you roll this guy around your furniture and it collects any hair it comes across. Not as good as a Dyson of course, but not bad for the price.
Another fabric sweeper: Except this one comes from Furminator. Reader’s choice!
Reverse washing: Say you’ve got a lot of hair on your clothes, and since your clothes are dirty anyway, you decide to toss them in the wash. Slow your roll. Before giving your fabrics the washer treatment, throw them in the dryer first, for about five to fifteen minutes. It’s just enough time to loosen up the hairs before you wash them properly—washing alone is hit or miss when it comes to hair removal. And then add them to the dryer again. One with an anti-static cling sheet, ideally.
Lots of silk: Shedding comes for us all eventually, but sleeping on a silk pillowcase at least curbs it a little. You don’t even need an expensive one to get the job done; synthetic silk is just fiiiiiine. And for extra credit, don’t knock a silk/silk-adjacent scarf to sleep in. Try this striped one from Cuyana.
Gentle hair tools: Some tools encourage shedding more than others. Got curly hair? The responsible move is to finger comb, but it’s completely your prerogative to go about your business a little more quickly with a wide-tooth comb. In fact, the wider the better is a universal mantra for all hair types. The softer the better, too, when it comes to brush bristles. Just make sure you steer clear of coarse synthetic bristles, and for the love of god, please oh please don’t use anything with metal bristles or teeth.
Photo via ITG