ITG’s worst kept secret is my general aversion to showering. It’s been well documented over the years (here, but also here, and I’m guessing a few other places). I’m a product of my circumstances: About four years ago I moved into my now-infamous apartment that features both easily dislodged shower tiles and wildly inconsistent water temperature that’ll go from way too cold to actually boiling in seconds (mind you, in this instance, I have not touched the temperature knobs). That was around the same time I stopped washing my hair daily. Add to that any sort of regular self-tanning routine and all of a sudden, the shower is the enemy. I’m like a toddler now—totally fine when I’m in there doing the damn thing, but finicky and cranky right before I’m shoved in, naked and against my will.
So why take shower product advice from me? Because if there’s a product powerful enough to lure me into the bathroom with its siren’s call, get me to turn on the water, and then actually use it regularly, it’s a product worth sharing. Don’t worry—there aren’t that many (and on the whole they’re not very expensive). I’m not going to insist you loofa or dry brush or clog your drain with coffee beans. This is a very normal routine. At least I think it’s a very normal routine.
First and foremost, you’re going to want to try…
Dr. Bronner’s Eucalyptus Pure-Castile Liquid Soap
Why did it take me so long to discover the wonders of this Top Shelf favorite? The world may never know. But I am currently in the throes of a very serious eucalyptus addiction and this has not helped matters. It smells just like doing this but mintier, and it’ll last longer. I’ve been using the same bottle since June and we’re only just nearing the half way point. But the real reason I love it is its efficiency. Merely pass the soap over your body and you’re clean. It makes me think that it could strip paint off of walls, but that’s not necessarily bad news for an infrequent showerer…
Glossier Body Hero Daily Oil Wash
Plus, I have this as a chaser. It’s like a double cleanse, but the other way around. After I strip, I like to do a gentler suds with the Glossier because it feels like it brings something back to my skin. And I don’t get out of the shower with that sticky, tight feeling. That said, I don’t get out of the shower before I use some…
Body lotion in a pump bottle
Get any body lotion you can find in a pump bottle, and put it on a ledge in your shower. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, do not step foot out of the shower until you shake off some droplets and quickly moisturize your damp bod. I say pump bottle because without one, it won’t happen. You’ll be squeezing a tube that’ll end upon the floor and the whole thing will seem like more hassle than it’s worth. Right now, I’m working my way through the 500 ml Dr. Sturm Anti-Aging, which is lovely and efficacious but was also $215 and a gift. At my boyfriend’s apartment I do the same routine with Lubriderm. Pick your poison, but don’t skip this step. (I will say, the Dr. Sturm bottle is so well-sized that if and when I ever finish it, I will not be above filling it with any other body lotion—anybody know of body lotions that come in refill packs?)
And a good, old-fashioned, ugly shower cap
The one that made it all possible. A few years back, there was a wave of “chic” shower cap options. I tried them out, but honestly—old-fashioned is the way to go here. I’ve found through rigorous user testing and double blind studies that: stay-put technology might help the cap stay put, but it also pulls at baby hairs and makes putting the cap on a less-than-pleasant experience (also, a shower deterrent). My ugly cap goes everywhere with me and I don’t care who sees it. It’s comfy and it fits over everything, and it never tears my hair out. I love it and I think you will too.
—Emily Ferber
Photo via ITG.
