A few months ago, I wrote about Old Spice—revealing I purchase the masculine staple for myself. A commenter shared that she does, too, writing “my mom is convinced I have a secret boyfriend.” I smirked after reading that, all the while quietly regretting that I didn't come up with that colorful wording myself.

Looking back, I’m happy I didn’t. Because since the first post, I've taken up with Harry. Harry's Foaming Shave Gel in particular. Like any good secret boyfriend, he meets all the criteria: attractive, witty, enthusiastic about hygiene, and pleasing for the olfactory. Made with Licorice root extract, cucumber, and aloe, it smells like a surfer with a sunburn guzzling Fernet. The nozzle dispenses the gel in a smooth, even manner without that unappealing shaving cream sound. When rubbed, it goes from gel to foam (you only need the tiniest bit in your palm). It lathers richly; gives a close shave; leaves skin soft. What more can you ask for? (The answer: a good cuddle.)

I like the idea of a secret boyfriend. But you know what I like better? Since he's not real, we don't have to share.

—Alexis Cheung

Photographed by Tom Newton.