They say love has a funny way of showing up when you’ve stopped looking for it. For makeup artist Tobi Henney, it didn’t arrive via a dating app or a setup but through Instagram with model Iago Botelho. What started as an unserious DM slide became a coffee in Milan, then Paris, then New York—and eventually, a shared bathroom shelf. Naturally, Tobi and Iago’s relationship unfolded not just over coffee dates and train rides, but over moisturizers, haircuts, and a shared bottle of perfume. Keep reading below.
Dear ITG,
I’d been single for four years when I met my boyfriend Iago. I was living in New York at the time and I had deleted all of my apps because I was exhausted with dating. One day my friend Carolina Dali shared a post of Iago’s, who is a model, after she’d done his grooming for a shoot. I jokingly DMed her, “Oh my God, who is that?” And she told me that he is really sweet.
Iago and I started following each other—he thought I was from California because I have a “cute beach girl look,” he says—and had a bit of a platonic back and forth. I mentioned that I visit Milan, where he lived at the time, every September for fashion week. We got together for coffee the next time work brought me to Milan. He was just as sweet as Carolina had said. English is his fourth language so there was a bit of a language barrier, but in a nice way… It was all just very endearing, and I just had this nice, warm, comfortable feeling from the beginning.
The coffee turned into me inviting him to the dinner I had planned with hairstylist friends of mine at Tram Tram—we go every season. It was the date that never really ended because when he told me his work trip to Germany had fallen through, I asked, “Why don’t you just come to Paris?” I flew and he took the train, and we spent the 10 days together in between my jobs. Then I said, “Why don’t you come to New York?” Pre-pandemic, Iago had already worked and lived there—he had his big break when he shot a Vogue Italia spread with Gigi Hadid and Steven Klein. We’ve been together since.
I’m very type A and he’s type B. I’m super organized and regimented with my work because my job can be erratic—his career moves a bit differently and he’s also super chill in general—and because of that I also like to be quite structured with my beauty routine and have certain steps that I do every day. Iago is genetically blessed, obviously, and he doesn’t need to do a lot—he barely has pores—so he didn’t really have a routine when I met him; he would just make sure his hair was clean and his facial hair was groomed for jobs.
We moved to LA two years ago, and we quickly realized how dry everything is out here. Moisturizing has become more important than ever. I always get him to put on Augustinus Bader Rich Cream if he’s going to a casting or a job. I also receive a lot of products to try through work and he thinks that’s fun so we share a lot: iS Clinical Cleansing Complex, Rationale #1 serum, Tweezerman tweezers, 111Skin eye patches, and La Mer lip balm. Herbivore sent a beautiful body care package, too, so we’ve been using their body cream—Sol De Janeiro’s Bum Bum cream is the classic we normally have around though. We also love oils; Augustinus Bader has a beautiful one.
We even need hydrating shampoo and conditioners in LA so our hair doesn’t dry out. Oribe is great, but we often use Pantene, too. Pantene has a great detangler [ed. note: discontinued] by the way. When I traveled to Brazil with Iago, I noticed all of the girls had a detangling spray and comb on the beach with them. I picked one up at the pharmacy and it’s been a game-changer after swimming at the beach.
Iago and I even share a scent: Tobacco Vanille from Tom Ford. It was already in my collection when we met—I’m a big fan of anything vanilla, but it’s also sexy and makes me feel confident and powerful—but once he smelled it, he instantly fell in love, too. Now it reminds me of our date nights when we first started dating in Milan, Paris, and NYC.
Oh! And let me tell you: I’m not fully trained, but I did a bit of hair in Australia so I give Iago little bathroom haircuts every now and then. I think because he respects my work he has an innate trust in me not to mess up his hair too much. He also has curly hair so I can’t really mess it up—and if I do, he’s always on sets with the top hairstylists so they can always clean up my work a bit.
Beauty products aside, the best part about dating is that we often get to travel the world together. And personally,he’s taught me how to think more deeply about some things. Coming from a tiny town in Brazil, he’s very grateful for the little things. It’s easy to get lost in this industry: It can be very aloof and shallow and you start to compare yourself to people. Iago always puts things into perspective for me. I’m lucky.
Love,
Tobi Henney
—As told to Daise Bedolla
Photos courtesy of Tobi Henney