It's seen more family Christmases, secular office White Elephants, and friendly gift exchanges than any of us. It is always on sale, but never sells out. You almost certainly have one right now—perhaps within arms reach. It burns for 80 hours, and then it is gone. It is the Christmas Candle; that marbled, pine-scented, formerly $12.99 but now $8.99 symbol of the holiday season that cannot be contained by any specific gifting occasion, nor a votive canister. (Seriously—put them in a jar or something! Please.)

This weekend, Aidy Bryant, Emma Stone, and co. reminded us that the best/worst gift of all time has been with us all along. It's not a cozy Ukrainian blanket, nor is it a nano current device. It's been waiting for you always—in a messy stack along the checkout line at TJ Maxx. Go to it.

Video via NBC/Saturday Night Live.

More gifts: the ITG Gift Guide is over here.