When shopping for clothes or home accessories, I often have to exercise what I call the "Vanderpump Rule," which is: Would Lisa Vanderpump be into this? If so, it might be too much for me. This was the consumer standard which governed my life until we received a package in the office containing one very special bottle of Captain Blankenship Golden Waves Sea Salt Shimmer Spray. This is not your average salt spray, guys. This is the shiny gold GLITTERING Versailles salt spray of kings.

I know exactly what you're thinking: "Gold mica-infused salt spray is like a product developer's pipe dream. There's no way something that extravagant can be practical." But it works! And also, don't be rude. Sprayed on dry hair (or wet, pre-blow dry), it provides a little texture and bounce without making your hair briny or crunchy. It conditions, too, thanks to a healthy dose of aloe gel. The thin, watery consistency is probably what you're used to if you're a regular salt spray user. This is just, you know, gold.

Which brings me to the shimmer. The shimmer! The liquid gold you see in the above photo betrays a very subtle glitter load. The mica is barely detectable until your hair catches the light. And even then, it looks more iridescent than sparkly. If you're looking for something more glam, then I'm sorry to disappoint you, Lisa Vanderpump. But thanks for being a reader!

—Brennan Kilbane

Photographed by Tom Newton.

Next up in very serious hair products you absolutely, 100% need: perfumed dry shampoo.