Something that I do not recommend you do is google tongue scraping. The articles are informative but the photos are categorically gnarly (and entirely engrossing). When viewed in isolation, the tongue might be the strangest anatomical body part—like a pink, squishy sea slug. One visibly coated with white matter is unforgivable. And you wonder why its sole champion is Miley...

The “white matter' is actually tongue plaque. A tongue scraper—a tool that scrapes your tongue—immediately removes the unsightly stuff. According to Dr. Andrew Spielman, an associate dean at the NYU College of Dentistry, it also removes the bacteria that cause bad breath (halitosis, if you want the technical term). Just take his advice and be sure to scrape the back of the tongue where those bacteria lie.

Get one in metal or plastic. Or, follow Liz Lemon’s lead.

—Alexis Cheung

Photographed by Tom Newton.