“My routine is boring. I’m a dude! I brush my teeth. Then, I purée pomegranate and do a pomegranate peel and leave that on for, like, two hours. I get up at five in morning to purée the pomegranate. I put that on my face and let it rest for a few hours, and take the pomegranate off. Then, I use some top-secret Kiehl’s stuff—it’s not even on the market, it’s designed just for Indian people, and no one knows about it—I’m not even supposed to talk about it. So, it’s my custom Kiehl’s stuff just for Indian people that’s not on the market yet, and then I do another pomegranate puree, put that on my face for another few hours, then I take that off and kind of let my face sit in the sun for a little while. After that, I do a cantaloupe purée, put that on my face, and sit for another two hours, and then I just use some Lubriderm. I wash my face, and then I do another pomegranate purée. A lot of pomegranate, I know—people don’t know it’s good for your skin! Sometimes, if I’m lazy I just pour Pom Wonderful on my face.”

—as told to ITG

Aziz Ansari photographed by Emily Weiss at the Band of Outsiders men's party in New York on February 7th, 2013.