“I was either going to be a fashion designer, a creative writer, or a musical theater actor. I thought I could only pick one, so I ended up going to the Cincinnati Conservatory of Music, where we ate, slept, and breathed musical theater. When I graduated, I played Elder White in The Book of Mormon tour, and then I moved to LA, where I did stand-up. That’s the world I lived in before I started Days of Girlhood, my TikTok series where I talked about my transition and new life. It was really interesting when publishers began to reach out because I almost felt like I needed permission from someone to write a book. In some ways, voicing my urge to write was even more intimidating than transitioning because I have such a deep admiration for the medium. To me, few things are more prestigious than being an author.
Paper Doll: Notes From A Late Bloomer is based on Days of Girlhood, and the book is a lot more vulnerable, a lot darker, and more adult than I could have imagined. Writing it was extremely cathartic, especially because I was so intimidated after ‘Beergate.’ As someone who is perceived as a very positive person, I actually found it very freeing to be able to talk about suicidal ideation and the dark thoughts I was having. A lot of people in my industry are scared to tap into that, but if we don’t, we let things fester and build within us. Paper Doll is my release into the world, and while some people might see it as a memoir, I think of it more as a time capsule of a certain part of my life. It’s messy and real.
BEAUTY
MAC was the only makeup brand I really knew growing up because that’s all my mom used. So when I was 14, I went to the MAC counter, and because I was too embarrassed to ask for help with shade matching, I grabbed the most orange foundation imaginable and caked it over my acne. Let me tell you: I thought I was serving. That just goes to show that no matter your skill level or technique, makeup has the power to make you feel good. And that’s what I’ll say about beauty: It’s frustrating when people reduce transness or trans femininity to just makeup, hair, or aesthetics. Yes, those things make me feel beautiful and more confident—but that’s not about gender. It’s about doing something that makes me feel good, that harms no one, and that has actually connected me to an amazing community. I’ve met some of my best friends through my love of beauty. I’ve had to let go of any guilt tied to people trying to shame me for embracing hyper-femininity. And I get it: it’s easy to judge something you’ve never tapped into, but at the end of the day, we all like to feel good—some people just take pride in pretending they don’t care. Sure, sometimes I wonder how much more I could accomplish if I weren’t spending hours in a glam chair. But then I remind myself that that’s not what this chapter of my life is about. Maybe one day I’ll have my Pamela Anderson no-makeup-at-fashion-week moment. But right now? We’re full-face, babes.
SKINCARE
I had really bad acne as a teenager and I went on Accutane when I was 16 and then again at 22. It worked for me the second time around and I’m really grateful for that—I don’t think I could have handled transphobia and severe breakouts at the same time. Overall my skin is pretty dry, and I like products that aren’t stripping. When it comes to cleansers, I’m a Cerave girl. It’s simple—it doesn’t even foam—and it does the trick. At night, I use Versed’s cleansing balm to melt everything on my face first.
Ole Henriksen’s Strength Trainer moisturizer has been my favorite moisturizer for a long time, and I love Drunk Elephant’s marula oil at night. Then maybe once a week or so I’ll slug with a light layer of Aquaphor. I started doing that during my Accutane days and I never gave it up. If I’m feeling up to it, I’ll use Lush’s bubblegum lip scrub first. By the time I wake up, my skin and my lips are so soft.
I don’t wear sunscreen every day, but I should—I’m going to put that on my vision board for the year.
Sometimes I’ll feel wild and use a face mask. Usually it’s because I have the Sunday scaries or I’m really hungover or I’m trying to get everything out of my skin if it’s been a long makeup week. Also, sometimes it’s just an aesthetic decision if I’m in my bathtub. [Laughs] I want a face mask that feels like an experience—I don’t necessarily care what it does. I want to look in the mirror and look like Elphaba more than anything. Ole Henriksen used to have a great Cold Plunge face mask that looked Smurf blue when you put it on. I’m bummed that they discontinued it.
I almost didn’t want to tell anyone about the Jack Black Beard Lube shaving cream because it feels so unfeminine, but no, there are women who have to shave their faces. I’m going through the process of electrolysis hair removal now, but in the meantime I use that shaving cream on all parts of my body. When I was in The Book of Mormon before I transitioned, I had to shave my face two times a day. This was also when I was having bad breakouts, so I was having to shave on top of breakouts, and this was basically the only shaving cream that wouldn’t actively hurt me. It’s marketed towards men, but women need to know about it. It’s sort of similar to how I still use male razors because they’re so much better. My dream would be to have one… but pink because I want a pink product, but at the end of the day, the male razor is just better.
I am such a Lush girl. I worked at Lush as a 16-year-old. I would literally spend my entire paycheck; I had every product. I feel like it’s such a twink staple of the community. [Laughs] I discovered their Rose Jam shower gel way back when and it’s been my go-to for probably 10 years. I also loved Snow Fairy, the bright pink bubblegum one, too [Editor’s note: discontinued]. But Snow Fairy is girlhood and Rose Jam is womanhood. I feel so lucky because I was able to collaborate with Lush on my very own bath bomb, the Late Bloomer, for the launch of my book. It's shaped like a rose—and has dried rose petals and glitter—and smells like rose and citrus.
MAKEUP
Early on, I really struggled covering up my facial hair. I was using a really dark shade of orange color corrector from Nikita Dragun’s beauty brand [Editor’s note: discontinued] to get rid of my five o’clock shadow, but I wasn’t blending it properly. When Donni Davvy, the founder of Half Magic and head makeup artist for Euphoria, entered my life, she told me that she always used Kryolan’s Dermacolor Camouflage Creme because it covers up anything for TV. Even though I don’t have a lot of shadow anymore, I still like to put on a light layer. But for all of my trans girlies, this really is the best tried-and-true color corrector. Trust me.
Of course Lady Gaga is my girl—she has always been such an inspiration for me. When Haus Labs came out, I thought it was such a serve. Sarah Tanno, Gaga’s makeup artist and the brand’s global artistry director, used the Triclone foundation on me one time, and my skin looked so healthy and full of life. It covered what I needed to be covered but it felt like my skin could still breathe. Donni also loves using this foundation on me. She designed my makeup for my one-woman show at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, so I was using that every single day and it always lasted through the night. I also know that Gaga’s wearing it on stage, so if it’s good enough for Gaga, it’s good enough for me.
Mario Dedivanovic’s brand Makeup by Mario has a really yummy cream blush. My favorite is Perfect Pink, a very Sabrina Carpenter shade. I also love Dior’s Rosy Glow blush in Pink—it’s my tried-and-true. Then I fuck so hard with Hourglass’s Unlocked tubing mascara. It’s buildable but lightweight. I don’t know whether science can back me up here, but it feels gentler on my eyes because it comes off easily with water. And one of my makeup artists, Kelly Christensen, introduced me to Givenchy’s setting powder. It’s one of those products that’s pretty pricey but worth it. In general, I’m not a big fan of powder, but this one is velvety and my skin has never felt cakey when I’ve worn it. I use Voile Rosé.
Patrick Starrr did my makeup for Mikayla Nogueira’s wedding, and at the end, he sprayed my face with On ’Til Dawn setting spray from his brand One/Size. I danced all night long with Chris Olsen and my makeup never budged. Also, as a performer who is on stage under hot lights, I can say that’s always held up there, too. I mean, everyone needs to watch that viral video of Patrick swimming with a full face of makeup and setting spray on.
My sweet makeup artist friend, Ayman Syed, introduced me to Charlotte Tilbury’s K.I.S.S.I.N.G lipstick in 90’s Pink a couple of months ago. If you asked me three months ago, Pillow Talk—which is still an everyday go-to for me—would’ve been my main girl but 90’s Pink is a little deeper and a bit more Barbie in a way that feels sexier and more fun. I also love the satin consistency. Honestly, it’s hard not to talk about every single Charlotte Tilbury product because she makes some great shit. That might be another bucket list thing for me, having my makeup done by Charlotte Tilbury.
HAIR
I was blonde for the last two years and returning to brunette feels like coming home. I was so nervous because I’m blonde on the cover of Paper Doll and I thought it might be confusing if I promoted a book with a different hair color. But I’m so happy now. I feel so much more like myself. Angelina Panelli is my girl. She not only colors my hair, but she also styles it for a lot of events. She’s a one-stop shop. By the way, I used K18’s Molecular Repair mask throughout my blonde era to keep it healthy. And I tend to oscillate between shampoos. I’m not very particular. I always get the little travel-size bottles when I’m walking through the checkout aisle at Sephora. Olaplex’s No. 4 Bond Maintenance has been great. For a while, I was using K18’s Peptide Prep Detox and Paul Mitchell’s Awapuhi.
As far as tools go, the Dyson Airwrap is a pricey girl, but it’s such a worthwhile investment. I think hair is deceptively more difficult than makeup, and the Airwrap gave me the confidence to do my own hair—so while I still don’t really know how to use traditional hair tools, I do know how to get my signature retro flip with the Airwrap.
FRAGRANCE
I was a Chanel Chance girl for a very long time—until I went to Paris last year. I met a man named Marc who told me he owned a perfume company. I was like, ‘Eh, whatever,’ but he kept insisting that I try it. Then he mentioned it was Maison Kurkdjian. I told him the name sounded familiar, and when I looked it up, I realized it was the famous brand behind the TikTok-viral Baccarat Rouge 540. Later, when I performed with Alan Cumming at a pop-up cabaret, Marc, who I now know was CEO Marc Chaya, gave me a bottle right after I finished singing. I tried it, and it immediately became my new scent. Thinking about it now, I feel like Chanel Chance defined my girly pop moment, but Baccarat Rouge represents my womanhood. It’s sexy without being overpowering; it gives me everything I need.”
—as told to Daise Bedolla
Photographed by Brittany Bravo in Los Angeles on February 12, 2025