Einstein may have discovered E = MC2, but ITG is quite certain that Pimple Size = Width of Pimple x Hours Before Your Next Face-to-Face Human Interaction. Cubed. You know, it’s a distortion thing—not unlike another Einstein theory but enough of that guy for now. Point is, pimples warp your otherwise healthy sense of reason and suddenly you’re working with a bottomless well of creativity to get rid of 'em. One pops up and the next thing you know you’re swapping your sleeping mask for starchy fresh produce in the hope that you’ll wake up to clear skin. Don’t believe? The courtroom presents exhibit A, with DJ Matt Mazur: "My friend told me that when you get a bad cystic pimple, you should cut a potato slice and leave it on overnight with tape over it—the potato turns black, and all the toxins are absorbed. It works."

And there’s more. Lest you forget the time you put toothpaste on your face, on purpose. Or maybe when you stopped eating ice cream because of big bad dairy. How about the banana peel mask? Diaper rash cream? Yes, yes, this is all crazy, and that’s kind of the point. ITG wants to know—what’s the craziest, most over-the-top thing you’ve done to a pimple? Tell us all about your deodorant-wearing, aspirin-crushing remedies. Don’t be shy—consider this your pimple safety zone. Let it all out in the comments below.

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