In today's climate (political, social, meteorological), baths are the pinnacle of self-care. Nothing says, "I look after my mental health!" like submerging yourself in a tub of scalding water, maybe some rose petals and Morton's table salt, and teetering a very electrical, definitely not water-resistant iPad above it all while tentatively enjoying some old Parks & Rec episodes. Hey, we all do it! And we all pretend it's more glamorous than it is. At the end of the soak, we're all a little hot, a little bored, and a little annoyed at our now-frizzy hair.
Well, that iPad routine is starting to make me a bit anxious. One of these days, it's going in—I'm sure of it. So in an effort to prolong its lifespan, I'm moving from visual stimulation to auditory. Queue up a podcast—maybe on a wireless speaker—and keep them both very far away from the water's edge. Let the dulcet tones of Ira Madison III or Nate Silver keep you company, sans blue light pollution. It's the least you can do for yourself. And for your iPad. Keep that in the bedroom.
Oh, but what to listen to? Chill out. It's another incident of Needless Pairings and I'm on the case:
Laura Mercier Crème Brûlée Honey Bath + Keep It!
The newest offering from Crooked Media is like Who Weekly meets Pod Save America—pop culture but with the political bent your liberal heart can't get enough of. Host Ira Madison is a shameless lover of luxury (he loves to pop open a bottle of champs on air), so spring for Laura Mercier's needlessly indulgent foaming bath gel. It comes with its own honey dipper. Very cute.
Dr. Teal's Ultra Moisturizing Mineral Soak + The FiveThirtyEight Politics Podcast
A no-nonsense bath product for a no-nonsense podcast. The folks at Nate Silver's FiveThirtyEight Politics Podcast are straight to the point—quite literally. All about stats here. Keep it straightforward with the drugstore best bet. Half a bag will do ya. And cost you almost nothing.
C.O. Bigelow Cold and Flu Soak + Hardcore History
Emma Watson loves this stuff. I'm betting she also loves this podcast. Single episodes (about WWI or the Celtic Holocaust—uppers!) will run you a cool five hours. Might need to refresh the hot water here.
Pursoma Resurrection Soak + My Brother, My Brother And Me
Pursoma is kind of a racket. The single serving packets of salt and mud come with detailed instructions. Draw the bath—as hot as you can handle. Get in and stay in for 20 minutes. But no longer, lest the toxins that have poured out of you soak back in and retox you. Believe it or don't, but it does make you quite sweaty. Enjoy some humor to take your mind off the beads forming around your upper lip. This comedy pod should do the trick.
Follain x Rica Rose Bud Milk Bath + Bon Appétit Foodcast
Before you tell me that I should have paired BA's truly excellent podcast (food, as a podcast! You'd think it'd be boring but it's actually the best) with the Laura Mercier dessert orgasm from earlier, but it's not like that. We're foodies here—we crave sophistication! And the Follain x Rica powder has that in spades. Moisturizing, light, with actual honest-to-goodness rosebuds hidden inside. Like the Foodcast, a true surprise and delight.
—Emily Ferber
Photo via Violette.
Got too much time on your hands? Maybe make a bath bomb.
