On Thursday night, my closest friends and I will flee New York City in a rented Nissan Altima (or similar) bound for a weekend in Falmouth, Massachussetts. I'm sorry that you weren't invited and you're finding out this way—perhaps if you were more interested in cultivating our friendship, and less interested in your job or your family or anything that is not me-related, you could hitch a ride on Labor Day.

Actually, here's a wonderful opportunity to win my favor: I need a body sunscreen suggestion. A really good one. It must withstand the turbulent and unforgiving waters of Buzzard's Bay, not be too greasy, and maybe hopefully smell great. Am I asking too much? A spray would be the easiest to reapply in the middle of, say, an eight hour rum and tonic binge, but I'm truly open to anything.

I need to place an Amazon order by tonight, so time is of the essence. Give 'em to me—I'm all ears, shoulders, back of knees, and tops of feet, because that is where I tend to burn the most. TMI, I know. I'm just trying to make us closer.

—Brennan Kilbane

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