Having a butt is a wonderful thing. I'm not even talking about size here—having something portable that's comfortable to sit on and makes pants fit is truly a gift. What I'm less happy about is the fact that when it comes to asset management, squats and leg lifts seem to the only answers to firm, tone, lift, etc. Honestly, that's boring—and it doesn't always even result in the results you're looking for. Also, I'd be pleased to avoid squats for as long as humanly possible. Thus I've made it my mission to invest in some other ways to build a better behind. And, since this is the internet, I'm sharing them with you.
Dermadoctor KP Duty Body Scrub: Let’s get the least fun thing out of the way first—I don’t want any bumps on my butt. In order to get everything perfectly smooth, I like using a body scrub that also has chemical exfoliants in it. This one is the real deal and extremely effective due to the acids. And now that we’ve achieved the tabula rasa of butts, on to more fun stuff...
Sol de Janeiro Brazilian Bum Bum Cream: When it comes to the butt, a caffeinated lotion is essential because it temporarily gets rid of cellulite. While I’m going to assume we would all prefer it to be permanent, the Bum Bum cream smells good enough and moisturizes so well that I don’t mind using it daily.
Agent Provocateur Noemi Brief: You were probably expecting me to recommend a thong, the default sexy underwear—but hear me out. I may be in the minority opinion, but butts looks better in briefs. I like ones that are cut a little bit higher, which give the optical illusion of more lift. At the same time, I’ve picked a pair that’s completely sheer, leaving literally nothing up to the imagination. Sexy Mesh Briefs: 1. Thongs: 0.
L’Agence Margot High Rise Skinny Jeans: I didn’t do well in high school Physics, but what I did gather from my limited attention to that class is that size is relative. Put a small thing next to a big thing and all of a sudden the big thing looks…bigger. In that vein, might I present you the skinny jean with the smallest pockets on the market. It also doesn’t hurt that they're high-rise, which also makes your butt look bigger. Haven’t figured out the optical reason for that, though.
Upstanding Standing Desk: A coworker told me that she thought she was getting “pancake ass” by sitting at her desk all day. Not sure what that is, but I did not want my butt being compared to one of my favorite brunch items. So, I heeded her warning and headed straight to the nearest standing desk (Bryan’s). I don’t have any proof that this has made my butt any better (bigger, tighter, perkier...whatever), but at least when you walk down the row of desks, you can see it ;)
Photo via ITG.