Chances are, you didn’t recently spend time free-climbing the sheer face of Yosemite’s El Capitan, but maybe you’re feeling the residual burn from some new springtime workout regimen you've got yourself on and need to soothe those weary limbs. In which case, may I recommend Mineral Ice?

Never far from my rotator cuff during high school swim-team days, Mineral Ice is—and has always been—a bright blue, pleasingly goopy, and cheaper alternative to Biofreeze Cold Therapy Pain Relief Gel. Once the mentholated gel absorbs into skin, a cooling, analgesic effect spreads over the ache in question, leaving you both soothed and smelling a little like Grandpa—small sacrifice for near-instant muscle relief.

The formula is greaseless and, when used properly, should not stain your clothes. Still, you might want to avoid white or let it dry before you dress—which you’ll need to do as the ice-like qualities are evident in more than just its name.

Best of all, Mineral Ice features the best throwback label, featuring a graph-paper grid and mountaintop—a timely kind of '90s-style pictogram for that timeless equation…you know the one: No pain = no gain.

—Lauren Maas

Photographed by Ben Jurgensen.