A wise man once said life is best lived with balance. Or at least he meant to when he versed, “I’m outside eating fried okra. With who? With Oprah.” This man was Riff Raff—and whether or not it happened, you've gotta applaud his skill in the art of comedic juxtaposition. Why else would people keep documenting juice cleanses? It's because $10 green pulp looks hilarious next to chicken nuggets when you eventually cave—racking up your 'like' count.
As high-low is always a very good idea, please meet Chef Jacques La Merde (NOT, we emphasize, not Jack Shit…that’s someone else) specializing in small plates and aperitifs made out of the very best the frozen food section and drive-thru windows have to offer. Here you’ll find an assortment of “Hay baked Hot Pockets W/ Hidden Valley Ranch Spheres and a puree of Zoodles (whole wheat)” paired with their classic “Hungry Man Dinner.” “BROWNIE NOT PICTURED!!!” frankly needs no explanation—have you seen the burning rubber that is a microwavable brownie?
Part Guy Fieri (who’s actual real surname is Ferry—you’re welcome), part French survivalist on Chopped, Chef Jacques La Merde is a man (or woman) after our own hearts and stomachs. Thank you for making us feel less bad about tonight’s decision to treat beer as a carb.