Is Your Phone On Right Now?

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Apparently not everyone in the world gets their email pushed to their phones. I learned this the other day when seated next to a friend, who noticed a work email flash up on my iPhone screen. She looked at me with horrified, bugged-out eyes. Eyes that said “This is why your blood pressure is high.”

It’s a trait I learned in college while working for the school newspaper. Be the first to respond to a story pitch email; get rewarded with the good assignments. Do this at all costs—even if it means replying to your sleep-deprived editor while you’re balancing a Solo cup in one hand and your iPhone in another at a frat party Saturday night. Bonus points if you can get your date to think you’re texting someone else about better plans.

Clearly, I can’t turn off. Or won’t—the line gets a little blurry when you’re staring at your email at 2am bleary-eyed. I’ve recently started playing around with the Do Not Disturb function—which means my phone won’t ding or ring or light up even though it’s very much still on. It works in theory, but overall, I think it just has me pushing the power button incessantly to make sure I haven’t missed anything. I'm sorely in need of some digital detox 12-step program.

Even today, I am most likely dodging glances from my mother who’ll be very dismayed that I have my phone out at the dinner table (it’s so nice to be home, right?). But clearly I have good company on this, the day of giving thanks and checking to see if that guy from high school texted you about meeting up for drinks while you’re both in town. You, dear reader, very clearly haven’t turned off your devices in favor of Dedicated Family Time (TM). So I ask you—have you taken this weekend as an excuse to dodge work emails? Or is it just business as usual?

—Emily Ferber

Photographed by Tom Newton.

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