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Patrick Bateman, Investment Banker

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“I live in the American Gardens Building on West 81st Street, on the eleventh floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I'm twenty-seven years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I'll put on an ice pack while doing stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face, an exfoliating gel scrub. Then I apply an herb-mint facial mask, which I leave on for ten minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after-shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman, some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me, only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are comparable, I simply am not there.”

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS' DAY ;-)

Video property of Lionsgate Entertainment, from American Psycho