I’m what you might call a “Twitter person”—I visit that site all day long, and like most people on the internet, I’ve decided that alone makes me an expert. Right now I follow close to 900 accounts—many of which are pretty depressing (the news), and an equal number are usually pissed off about something (people who read the news), and only a handful bring me pure, sparkly delight. Fenty Beauty is one of them, and man, it is a fun ride.
I have no idea who runs that account (I asked them, but no dice), but then again, technically I do. My BFF runs it—and yours! And yours! And yes, you, to the left—yours, too! I mean, don’t you feel like you know this person? Or, at the very least, want to get to know this person? Can you hang out with a Twitter account? Believe me, I have thought about it.
If you’re having a rough day, a pretty good day, or even just a day, I want to deliver some joy into your life via Fenty Beauty’s Twitter. Here are some of my favorite tweets for when…!
You want great prose
Roses are red— Fenty Beauty (@fentybeauty) February 14, 2018
Violets are blue
That highlighter is poppin'
TROPHY WIFE looks amazing on you 🏆✨
You didn’t really study and you need a pep talk
Crush those finals boo!!— Fenty Beauty (@fentybeauty) April 26, 2018
You need to prioritize
Excuse me @BritishAirways <a href="https://twitter.com/JFKairport?refsrc=twsrc%5Etfw">@JFKairport this is an emergency ‼️ https://t.co/2yDyeHj22w— Fenty Beauty (@fentybeauty) May 24, 2018
You need relationship advice
When you ask him to buy you more @fentybeauty and he says you have enough pic.twitter.com/zjmTkWkaWF— Fenty Beauty (@fentybeauty) June 1, 2018
You want to feel patriotic
One nation, under Queen Rih, with lingerie and lipgloss for all.— Fenty Beauty (@fentybeauty) June 8, 2018
You’re contemplating business school
The most successful people I've met:— Fenty Beauty (@fentybeauty) June 16, 2018
1. Wear Fenty Beauty
2. Are Rihanna https://t.co/Z2yh9Mygfh
You don’t need no hateration, hollaration, in this dancery
Don't listen to the haters, Billy. We got your back 💕 pic.twitter.com/N2eM7td8DB— Fenty Beauty (@fentybeauty) March 17, 2018
You need a cheerleader
Love! 😍— Fenty Beauty (@fentybeauty) February 12, 2018
You need a more aggressive cheerleader
I'm gonna show YOU how to find your Fenty Beauty #PROFILTR foundation shadehttps://t.co/5OqpjK27Se pic.twitter.com/e1owBO2Nxn— Fenty Beauty (@fentybeauty) June 16, 2018
Or, when you just need a friend
We'll be your friend— Fenty Beauty (@fentybeauty) February 22, 2018
Now sing it with me
Yayo— Fenty Beauty (@fentybeauty) June 7, 2018
Moo lah lah
Bitch better have my money
Y'all should know me well enough https://t.co/VEvecGdY9b
Photo via Getty.