Help, I'm Engaged


Guys, I got engaged! I’m excited, but I’m also in big trouble. Here’s the thing:


+I get to spend the rest of my life with my favorite person!!!!

+New jewelry!!!

+Cool gel manicures!!!

+Something about taxes being better once you file jointly, I think?


+I have to plan a wedding.

Organizing this sort of event—or any party, really—does not come naturally to me.

And suddenly, the signs are everywhere: wedding magazines galore, “bridal' this and “shower' that. Some sort of Essie matrimonial polish collection just arrived at the office: Happy Wife Happy Life, Worth The Wait, Tying The Knotie. New York Magazine had a Wedding Festival (what I’m calling it, not them) last week where a man made me a flower crown and there was a tiered cake made entirely out of doughnuts—is that what people do now?

No really, I’m serious. How am I supposed to proceed? What’s the protocol? But perhaps most importantly: What would you have told your pre-married self about preparing your wedding?

The stuff they don’t tell you in bridal magazines.

Asking for a friend.


Photo via Instagram. Manicure by Paintbox.