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The Lip Plumper Pump


Oh, local news. At some point between reporting on the jaywalking crackdown and whether your desk chair might be killing you, one North Texas ABC affiliate took the initiative to introduce viewers to the horrifying, yet alluring at-home lip plumping product known as Luscious Lips. It's simple: just hold the cylindrical tube over your mouth, suck, and pump towards and away from your face repeatedly for about two minutes. See how long you can make it through the video without your humor/sophistication sinking to that of a 13-year-old boy.

Let us come to you!