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How To Spill Red Wine All Over With No Consequences


Let me set the scene: We're at Misi—the set-your-Resy-alerts-on-high, pray-for-a-table, blow-your-mind-good pasta restaurant somewhere in Williamsburg—the day after the day after Christmas. I'm wearing all my new post-Christmas sale buys (all of which are white because that's what's on sale right now). We're drinkin', we're laughin', we're havin' a great time, anxiously awaiting our tortelli...and then something happens. I'm not quite sure what—it was a bit of a blur. Was it some spontaneous brussel sprout appetizer explosion? An errant fork finally making a run for it? More likely than not, something slipped out of someone's hand and the next thing I know, I've been splattered with half a glass of red wine. (A delicious Italian blend—shame to waste it on my shirt.)

Listen, there are more important things in life than the sanctity of a bright white T-shirt. That said...the very kind manager at Misi brought over a large bottle of Wine Away, my new favorite beauty product, cleaning staple, laundry detergent, and travel essential. This is what they keep in the kitchen, she said, when they inevitably splash wine on themselves in the process of being very attentive servers. And I'll confirm: This is the most effective stain remover I've ever used. Spots drenched in this stuff turn green immediately (which, weird—looks like they turn into mold, but be patient) and overnight, practically disappear. I do not know the magic of how—and honestly, I don't plan on looking into it. Some things are too good to need explanation. And don't take it from me—take it from the staff at Brooklyn's finest restaurant. And also my shirt that's starkly white again.

—Emily Ferber

Photo via the author.