We'll let you know when we find out! We kid, we kid... shaving can be a challenge, though. After a lot of research, we've found the secrets are:
1) Keeping your skin wet while you shave to reduce razor drag, which is what leads to nicks, burns, and bumps. Having water on your skin means you have something between your skin and the razor.
2) If you can create an extremely thin barrier with something a little more viscous than water, so it "sticks" to your skin, that's also an excellent idea. This is what shaving cream is supposed to do, but low density oils like olive and—weirdly enough, canola—are maybe even a better option because they coat skin but are thin enough not to make shaving more difficult. Not too get too scientific, but anything with a high oleic or linoleic fatty acid content will probably work.
3) Having a good, sharp razor also reduces drag, and thus skin irritation. Change and/or clean often.
Other ideas are encouraged below. Let's figure this out, guys. Together.