There are products that are wildly unnecessary—square watermelons, for example. And there are products that are wildly and unexpectedly expensive—if you scrolled by a pair of Birkenstocks on Net-a-Porter you'll know what we mean. And then yesterday, ITG happened upon a product that marries these two kinds of products in one. It’s a leather-bound candle holder that costs a cool $450. Yes, you read that right. Don’t get us wrong, we love a good old-fashioned luxury item any day of the week, and if we had the kind of disposable income required to buy such a thing, we probably would... but we don’t, and we wondered who exactly would. Perhaps it was...
The Clueless Tech Bro
He works in tech and makes a lot of money, but has always had his nose to the grindstone and never really cared about luxury goods. He went to Byredo to get a lavish gift for his Byredo-loving new flame (ha), but when he got there, all the candles were a little... off. Too fancy for his tastes. Couldn't settle on any of them. Since he was already there he bought the candle holder, which looked normal and had a practical kind of air about it. She'll probably like it, right?
The Trust Fund Publicist
She works in PR, but she doesn't really have to—honestly, why she hasn't just pivoted to full-time lady of leisure baffles even her. Whatever. Point is, she’s bicoastal. And it turns out that being bicoastal, while sounding glamorous in theory and on her Raya profile, is kind of a drag. Lots of flying, which is gross, and half the time she has to stay in whatever shitty hotel the brand will put her up in. The discovery of this candle holder means she can breathe in expensive air unencumbered by the constraints of air travel. At $450, it doesn't even make a dent in her monthly allowance anyway.
The Beer Guy Who Just Wants To Keep Things Chill
Bought a set of 12. Thought it was a... coozie? Something to prevent cocktails from sweating on a white Carrara marble table? Conveniently with a... zip top? Didn't think too much about it and now has to return them all.
The Heiress Allergic To Bargains
What to get the woman who has everything? Conveniently there's a magazine gift guide for that, which is how she found the Byredo leather candle holder. Delightfully nonsensical (she would never buy it for herself) and yet slightly cheaper than the electric zero-emissions yacht in Goop's version. Smiling to herself, she leaves the store with the perfectly wrapped box—she nailed it this year.
The [Redacted] Lover
Had a gift card to Byredo, but is a [redacted] purist. Will buy the candle holder to hold the [redacted] candle, and use it as a conversation starter to talk anyone's ear off about how Byredo is all hype and [redacted] is actually so much better.
Hi I’m Axyl I’m seven years old this is my bedroom my sheets are purple because purple is my favorite color and oh you want to see this? This is where I keep my Hexbugs I took it from my mommy’s room she had a candle in it but I took it out because I had nowhere to put my Hexbugs and my nanny kept slipping on them when she cleaned my bathroom which I thought was really funny hahaha but mommy said clean up your Hexbugs Axyl! So I put them in this black circle box and now she doesn’t yell at me and my Hexbugs live in here. What’s Byredo?
Ugh, Your Ex
Has every Byredo candle. Wears only Supreme and Off White. Stack of magazine back issues in the corner. Apartment itself is garbage.
Photo via ITG