Baby Lips Will Make You Feel 13 Again


Ah, junior high: a simpler time. It seems that as adults we've managed to complicate every part of life, even ones we should find pleasurable. Take shopping for makeup—remember days spent not stressing so much about making these "informed decisions?" Remember buying foundation not based on the aggregate knowledge from three pages of MakeupAlley reviews, but because it came in a turquoise compact and had a sponge? And for the shade you chose Honey over Sand based on absolutely nothing whatsoever? Nail polish was purchased because it came with a ring, and for blush it was always, "Screw it, cheeks are what shimmery terracotta bronzer is for."

There's an element of fun that's lost when you get caught up in every clinical-sounding detail of the makeup shopping experience. I try to concern myself with things like comedogenics, wear time, silicones, petroleum by-products, my actual skin tone, calories...but mostly I'm like, "Oh word, is that glitter?" Such was the case with Maybelline Crystal Baby Lips. The chunky stick of the glitter-flecked Pink Quartz lip balm reminds me of hot pink jelly sandals with a delicate sparkle finish that's very sheer and quite shiny. It made my lips feel like slippery baby seals and smell like watermelon Jolly Ranchers. Never mind that I have to reapply often throughout the day, I like a good mindless ritual that gives me something to do on a long elevator ride. The pink plastic tube and clear cap are reminiscent of a Caboodles kit, plucking what was apparently some deep-seated, long-forgotten nostalgia nerve like a freaking banjo.

Apparently it's meant to moisturize first and foremost—and my lips have felt pretty great recently—but I'm more interested in the fact that there's a version of Baby Lips that comes in yellow. Plus I have this sudden preoccupation with one-shoulder tops with lettuce edging and an overpowering urge to mortify my parents. Now that, you guys, is an anti-aging product.

—Annie Kreighbaum

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  • Llewsoba

    I love Baby Lips, I haven't run across the crystal ones, but I can't wait! I wish they had these when I was a kid!

  • A.J. Thompson Zielike

    "one-shoulder tops with lettuce edging" +1

  • Charlotte – CURATOR OF SOKO GL

    slippery baby seals. <3 your writing.

  • Emma Hager

    Everything about this piece reminded me of this:

    The classroom setting, a young France Gall, the pesky boyzzzz, the probable application of 'Crystal Baby Lips,' should this music video have come out aujourd'hui.

    • ITG Annie

      OMG! This is Baby Lips if Baby Lips were a music video! Good internetting, Emma Hager, as always.

  • Talia

    Imma let you finish but Lipsmackers are the best nostalgic lip product of all time.

    • Nancy

      Raspberry Orbit was the business all through junior high. Smelled like jam and the silver glitter was always just slightly gritty. Sweet nostalgia.

  • Aubrey Green

    I love these. I own 3.

  • JY

    As a kid I loved Caboodle lip glosses. They came in little squeeze tubes and had tiny beads in them for some reason.

  • Moss & Mink

    Dr. Pepper Lip Smacker is still a TOTAL staple in my makeup bag :)

  • Ruby

    It's funny because I actually AM thirteen, and I agree that makeup shopping is fun and a hobby for me, and I choose things I think will be quality but also I like fun packaging and pretty colours, etc, etc. If any of you would like to know more about me, I write a blog about makeup and fashion and lifestyle. It's just starting out, but any support would be greatly appreciated. Thank you so much.

  • Bella

    Love your writing!!

  • Haiku Jew

    Makeup memories
    we wore balm incessantly
    glistening in class.

  • christie

    i dont want to feel 13 again and i dont want to be baited into a "more youthful" appearance by using scrunchies and cheap flavored lip balm. i thought this website was made for the modern woman and a thoughtful and intelligent take on beauty, you know, for once.

    • Sharon Macklin

      Oh, come on christie! If you can't have fun with makeup, what is it for? Lighten up!

    • Miss Y.

      I think you missed the point of the article. To me, it sounds like the author is feeling nostalgic and bought the lip balm on a whim and is actually quite pleased with it. Don't take it too seriously.

    • Graphy

      lol it WAS thoughtful. you just didn't catch the nostalgia, and you just judged.

  • marie

    also, too young

  • Denisse

    I definitely don't want to feel like my 13 y.o. self again...that said, I am a big fan of Baby Lips!

  • Eliza

    Haha so true re: the Makeup Alley reviews--I will always do thorough research on skincare products, but I am a lot more fun with makeup. Just drugstore-bought some (maybe insane but maybe great, I'll find out soon) bright gold eyeliner :)

    • Miss Y.

      Definitely awesome. I think ITG featured a look with that a loooong time ago, where the girl (I think it may have been Lily Collins when she was still relatively unfamous) had gold eyeliner on her lower lashline. Tried it myself afterwards and it looked so good! Great for when you look tired, it brightens that area!

      • Eliza

        Thank you! I'm going to wear it out tomorrow night so I'll give that a try :)

  • Gayle

    I have Baby Lips and I'm 74 .. something for (almost) everyone!

  • Kelsey

    There's one called "Dr. Rescue" and it's super minty! My (14 year old..) sister let me borrow hers after I had a minor allergic situation and my lips had swelled, leaving them chapped and me whiny for days.

    I felt simultaneously ten years younger & super happy because it was pink, tasted good, and felt like it made an impact on my lips! :)

  • Michelle K. Lee

    love maybelline

  • Clever Girl Reviews

    I've not tried Baby Lips! I do love jelly sandals though...

  • june

    I love Annie's postings.. Lol.. so funny and true!

  • somevelvetmorning

    You really have a unique writing style, an ability to be seriously funny and absurd while also thorough and informative. Your articles evoke a sense of atmosphere and nostalgia for your readers... leading us to go out and purchase the product that you are writing about, so that we too can put ourselves in the little world that you created with your words!


Maybelline Baby Lips
Maybelline Baby Lips Lip Balm