The Cutest…Uh…Vibrator

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During a recent coital crisis—read: dry spell—I texted my friend Molly.

“It’s bad,” I wrote.

“I’ll take care of it,” she responded.

I relaxed. If anyone could solve my problems, it would be Molly. She works in the pleasure product industry, after all. A few days later, I received a white bag. “Meet the FORM 2,” her note said. I pulled the box out of the bag and my new vibrator out of the box.

It was two-pronged like a Peeps Easter bunny and smaller than the palm of my hand.

"It’s so…cute," I thought to myself.

Previously, no such adjective could have described my sex toy menagerie. Take the Sqweel 2. It claimed that “10 tongues are better than one.” With a black base and—you guessed it—10 pink “tongues” that whirled in a circle. It could have passed for a bizarre handheld portable fan. (For the record, one tongue is just fine.) Then, of course, were the two Rabbits. They were tinted a pretty silicon bubble gum pink, but that didn’t make up for their phallic and vein-y exteriors. Fun Absolutely. Attractive? Definitely not.

They satisfied all pleasure principles and failed the principles of aesthetics. I hid the toys in a drawstring bag under my bed. The FORM 2 though, with its small and smooth shape, actualized even Burke’s conception of beauty. I plugged it into the wall and waited till nightfall. (Conclusion: feels as good as—maybe better than—it looks.)

From then on, it’s remained on my windowsill. Partially because my only free outlet is there, but also I think it complements my Miyazaki plush toy in a modern, sexy l’object d’art kind of way. If guests ask, I’ll casually point and say, “Oh, it’s from Japan” (which isn’t a total lie, I got one of the two there). Or, more often, tell them the truth.

They’re a little surprised. But it starts an interesting dialogue. It’s refreshing.

Female masturbation needn’t be secretive or stigmatized. Unless, of course, you’re using an ugly vibrator.

—Alexis Cheung

Photo by Alexis Cheung.

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  • Daniela

    Best article ever. Four for you Into the Gloss!

  • http://www.EatStylePlay.com/ Eat.Style.Play

    oh wow, well written and tastefully done. Kinda tired of the stigma of toys and how we have to be so quiet about it. I'm single and my dry spell is reaching the two year mark, meh, you have to do what you have to do. :)

  • Lauren

    I have the same one! I also recommend the "leaf" line for discretion and good design.

  • http://www.clevergirlreviews.com/ Clever Girl Reviews

    I'll have to check this out!

  • magicmollys

    <3

  • Alyse

    You have to look up Iroha! Iroha Sakura is amazing, they even sell it at Opening Ceremony

    • Alexis Cheung

      My friend has one and I've been meaning to try it. Will check out ASAP.

    • Sarah

      I really like my Sakura! It's not as strong as other vibes, but you're right, it's definitely beautiful. Looks like Totoro!

  • Adriana

    Crave also has a really beautifully designed line: http://www.lovecrave.com/vibrators/

  • Sara

    Lelo is an awesome line and I love the Uberlube packaging.

  • http://www.happyhomesnz.com Debbie Harper

    I could put that on my window sill. Interesting topic of conversation. Glad to hear it voiced. Now I know where to find one

  • Sarah

    If you liked the Form 2, you would probably like the toys from JeJoue, Swan, Leaf, and Tenga, too!

    My personal favorite right now is the Lelo Mona 2, but it's not quite innocent-looking enough to leave out. But, I'm a sex toy reviewer, so more often than not, there are at least 3 toys lying in plain view at any given time around my room.

  • Sarah

    Hi Kathy, I'm so sorry about the delay! I am, indeed. I blog at Marvelous-Darling.com, and currently have partnerships with a few companies (both retailers and manufacturers). I have 2 of reviewing experience, and 3 years of experience in various facets of the adult industry. I would love to review for you. If you're interested, you should email me at MarvelousDarling.blog@gmail.com!

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