Naomi Campbell Is Psychic (Also, A Novelist)

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Naomi Campbell is clearly a telepathic elf princess. Consider the facts:
1. She looks good in everything.
2. She's dated De Niro, Depp, and DiCaprio.
3. She's survived more scandals than Olivia Pope.
4. Oh, and she can tell the damn future through Young Adult Fiction.

Naomi's always been my favorite probable immortal—sorry, Pharrell—but reading Swan, the Nostradamus-worthy novel she coauthored back in 1994, really sealed the deal.

Swan is about a supermodel who mentors a group of five aspiring catwalkers called the New Faces (Funny coincidence: The second season of Naomi's show, The Face, premieres tomorrow). Why is she mentoring them? As "luck" would have it, there's this competition where one girl will win a huge cosmetics contract and become America's next... well, you know.

Even if, for some unfathomable reason, you don't care that Naomi Campbell accurately foretold the 1999 YSL spring ad campaign a half decade early—Inspired by famous paintings! Starring Kate Moss! On page 93!—there's still Swan's amazing writing. It's like Daphne du Maurier watched Unzipped, got buzzed off half a Zima, and decided to make Rebecca a dishy roman à clef.

And it's not like Naomi is shy about her powers, either. One of the characters, Amy (as in "sounds like Naomi"), is a devastatingly gorgeous Jamaican-British model who has clairvoyant dreams. She told us all right there, and we, foolish mortals, just didn't notice. Lots of other characters are either real people—Kate, Linda, and Christy all get shout-outs—or have super transparent names, like "Water Detroit" (aka River Phoenix).

In all 360 pages, I could only find one discrepancy: "Zimmerman. Not a good name for a model," on page 74. Although... Raquel Zimmermann's name does have two 'n's, so maybe Naomi was just being precise. In fact, let's go with that explanation and never, ever question her again. She clearly knows what she's talking about. And there's a 75% chance she's The Highlander.

—Lacey Gattis

Photos by Elizabeth Brockway.

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  • http://thebtqblog.wordpress.com The BTQ

    This really made me laugh out loud! I'm absolutely gonna read Swan now ;D

    • ITGLacey

      It's my new favorite thing; I'm trying to get literally everyone in the office to read it.

  • http://www.clevergirlreviews.com/ Clever Girl Reviews

    LOL

  • Ell

    The book is hilarious but I love it, I got it for 50p from a Charity Shop. Best purchase ever made.

    • Tammi

      Me too! So great.

  • Freyja

    I totally read this when it came out - it rocked my grade 8 world and I immediately got a nape-grazing bob.

  • Anna Stromberg

    The last sentence did it for me! Now I have to hunt this book down.

  • Kristen

    "Water Detroit = River Phoenix" THAT'S BEAUTIFUL OH MY LORD

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