The Bar That Made Me A Better Girlfriend


I cook, I smell OK, moms like me, but the one thing keeping me from being the ultimate girlfriend is that I'm completely incapable of giving a massage. In fact, I've taken it out of what I consider 'decent girlfriend' criteria because I think it's cheesy and weird ("Let me rub my hands in repetitive motions on your naked body, babe"), and I can never get it right. I'm always asked to knead harder, and then "up more," and then even harder, until I've left a row of five perfectly filed almond-shaped indents in the meaty part of the guy's upper arm and accidentally separated a tendon from a shoulder bone. The human body is truly fascinating.

Also, as the masseuse, what do I even get out of it? Don't say "the joy of making my boyfriend happy" because I can do that with a penny, a piece of string, and a half-eaten Reese's Peanut Butter Cup—and that's fun for both of us. And what's the deal with massage oils? They're scented so potently that you can taste the fragrance, and they're so damn...oily!

Then, one evening as I was discussing my relationship issues with a slightly older female confidante over coffees and kale salad, she fished something out of her purse. Cautiously looking to either side, she slid a metal container across the table. "Here. Don't say you got this from me." It was a Lush Peace Massage Bar, the existence of which every romantic comedy and sexy young adult film with a massage scene has tried to hide from the girlfriend masses.

The concept is simple: you just rub the oval-shaped bar over bare skin. The heat from the skin makes the oils (shea butter, coconut butter, olive oil) melt on contact, but without getting drippy and messy. No kneading, squeezing, pummeling, or tendon separating to worry about. And the melty movement of the solid bar provides all the feel-good massage pressure to the soft tissues on your boyfriend's (or girlfriend's) back. It's mindless, really—like coloring a coloring book or polishing a piece of furniture. Am I underselling the sexy? Well, it definitely smells sexier than crayons or Pledge Multi Surface. Sweet, but with spicy floral notes—like a lavender cupcake!

Or try one of the 13 other flavors of Lush Massage Bars. The bonus is that they're a great way to get your own daily topical dose of coconut and shea without having to dig the stuff out of a jar. Because, what's the phrase? Something like, "If you're not good to yourself...blah blah blah...moisturize."

—Annie Kreighbaum

Photo by Annie Kreighbaum.

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  • jadiee bevan

    wow your blog is amazing... looks so nice

    if you have to check out my blog and comment me would mean so much

  • Chris

    haha love how you introduced the theme. Now i'm curious... ;)

  • Teresa @

    Ugh. Last time I was in a Lush store I wanted to get this, but they were out -- there was only the grody tester bar.

    I would be more into giving my boyfriend massages if he didn't immediately fall asleep after. ALWAYS GO FIRST.

  • conni boykins

    "because I can do that with a penny, a piece of string, and a half-eaten Reese's Peanut Butter Cup"

    this sounds kinky, weird, and like something I need to know how to do

  • Megan McClen

    I like that your confidante carries one around in her purse, like just in case she encounters someone who needs massaging.

    Therapy is my personal favorite of their bars, though I haven't tried Peace.

  • Sheryll Renata

    This is totally me. My boyfriend is a bjj practitioner and constantly asks for massages and I just...really dislike it and I feel like I'm absolutely horrible at it. I'm gonna head to my lush store and check these out for sure!

  • pocketful of make up.

    There is a heart shaped massage bar from lush and it smells so damn good!

    • Adrienne Angelos

      Yes! Soft couer and you're right it does smell so damn good. Your body will smell good enough to eat, which is kind of ideal if you're in it for the romance. Even if you aren't... yum.

      • pocketful of make up.

        yep that's the one I mean! It is divine <3

  • Rachel

    Love Lush massage bars. They are amazing, but they can get kinda gross kinda fast unless you immediately put it back in the metal tin.

  • Jennifer Monforton

    What a fun read! I love Lush massage bars- as you say, effortless and the fragrances and textures are divine! I think Therapy is my fave :)

  • Sarah

    Massages are nice and all, but a penny + string + Reese's? DETAILS, STAT

  • katie

    I give my boyfriend massages every other night (on the off nights,he gives me one!) and I'd like to think I've gotten pretty good at it. He really hates smelly stuff, though (honestly, what guy wants to smell like a "lavender cupcake"?!). I use Heritage brand unscented Aura Glow on him. It's a combination of three oils-- olive, peanut, and something else I can't remember, it's all-natural, and it sinks into the skin really well so he doesn't stick to me/the sheets afterwards. Highly recommend it.
    Lush's wiccy magic muscle massage bar is great to use on tired muscles, too-- it has a scent, but the tingle-y effect it has is similar to a low-key version of Icy Hot. Really great!

  • Leanne Webber

    OMG this is revolutionary!

    I need this in my life so badly.

    Thanks for the tip!


  • larasophia

    love the lush massage bars!

  • Heather P.

    I'm the worst at giving massages too - maybe this would be worth checking out. :-)

  • grumblemama

    I really appreciate this article because I got one of these bars in a Lush gift set for Christmas and I literally had no idea what the fuck it was for. The More You Knooowww!

  • makeupxjunkie

    how have i not heard of these before? sounds amazing screw using it on him im gonna make him use it on me :)

  • Marina Mendez

    The peace bars smell SO good. I left my suitcase in the car once, though, and the bar completely melted. It was an extremely sad day for me.

  • Kelly

    Totally off topic but I'm so glad you're at ITG, Annie!! Huge fan of you!

  • Hannah

    Wiccy Magic Muscles is my fav of the massage bars. It's got little beans that are all nubby and boost circulation with the help of spices. It has a warm, sexy scent and makes your blood flow. I'm single so I just use it on my legs to keep them from looking lumpy. Shrug.